A Thank You, an Apology, and a New Perspective

I have been silent lately; my twitter, blog, even my Facebook accounts virtually non-existent.  Save a few tweets I have responded to, I haven’t so much as said two words to anybody outside my immediate world.  It’s not because I’m unmotivated or have suddenly run out of things to say; rather because life dealt me a difficult set of cards to play with this past month.  A hand, I will add, that I beat – taking a High Card and turning it into a Royal Flush kind of beat them!   See last month, December 16^th at 11:46 am to be exact, my very athletic, young, doesn’t drink/ doesn’t smoke, run-ten-miles-a-day husband had a heart attack.  The kind most people don’t live through.  For three hours I was faced with the very real possibility of having to start over. Alone.  Then he woke up, asked his Cardiac Surgeon what the hell had happened, then bugged him for the next four weeks about when he could start running again.

So here is where the thank you’s come in.  Life tends to get monotonous after a while.  You end up doing the same thing day after day not giving a second thought those around you.  You become careless with people, not because you mean or selfish, but just because your interactions become routine.   Until something happens and you send out a random text, something along the lines of I need you to walk my dog to your best friend, the friend who can read between the lines and knows that those seven, seemingly innocuous words have nothing to do with your dog.  Her reply… not a I will send Liam over to walk him, but rather a where are you and what’s wrong.   It’s the PTO who you have dedicated four years of your spare time to, the one that you constantly complaining about that sends two weeks’ worth of food.  All homemade.  It’s the brother from Chicago you only see once a year who shows up unannounced 8 hours later to watch your kids.  It’s the friend you share car-pool duties with who, without prompting, asked your kids what was one their Christmas list then finished your shopping for you.  And it’s coming home that first night at midnight, thinking the house would be painfully empty, to find your book club sitting there, wine open and your Christmas tree up and fully decorated, cheese and chocolate spread out on your table.  So Cyndie, Margaret, Katie, Carolyn, Ann Marie, Meg, Julie, Bill, and Marie . . . Thank you.

With my mind pre-occupied, I have slacked off on my reading.  For that I am truly sorry.  There are three insanely talented writers for whom I was given the privilege of critiquing for.  I am making my way through those manuscripts now.  They are amazing, as I expected, and I can’t thank you enough for your patience.  I promise, you will all have them back by this Friday.  Promise!  To those of you who offered to beta my new YA Contemporary, I will be in touch soon.   I can’t tell you how grateful I am for the offer!

My perspective on how I treat those around me isn’t the only thing that has changed; my writing has as well.  I have been at this publishing game for a couple of years, have seen my shares of crazy highs and equally depressing lows.  But I’ve never given up, never once thought all for not.  That hasn’t changed.  If anything watching my life swirl back into focus has re-invigorated my desire to write, cemented my need to take all these crazy ideas, emotions, and complexities of life and get them down on paper.  Without another world, another set of character’s lives to escape into each night, I think I would have truly lost it. 

So thank you to all those who kept me sane this past month and here is to a new year full or good friends and great reads!