AARGH . . . Summer

So we are at the start of a three day weekend.  For most people that means the start of summer, some well deserved down time, maybe even some yard work. To me, and all the other people who live on Cape Cod, it means tourists and loads and loads of traffic.

It's only Thursday.  Last time I checked Friday was still a work day, yet I found myself sitting in bumper to bumper traffic on the highway, surrounded by out of state plates.  It took me 25 minutes to go 1.5 miles.  1.5 flipping miles!  So in advance of all the tourists waiting to invade my space, here's a little recap of the things that annoy me the most.  And yes we can be snarky around here. It's not that we don't like you, we're just naturally sarcastic.

~ A round-about is just that  . . . something you drive around.  Do not attempt to back up should you miss your exit.  Simply drive around the circle again and pay better attention.

~ Do not stop me in the supermarket to ask me where the best place to view whales is.  I will, not so politely, tell you to try the ocean . . . say five miles off shore.

~ There is no tunnel to the Cape.  There are two bridges or you can swim.  Those fake tunnel passes you see on our cars are indeed a joke . . . at your expense.

~ If you slip your boat onto my mooring while I am out fishing, I can guarantee it won't be there when you get back.

~Following up on that note . . . the dock at the end of my yard is not, I repeat NOT for public use.  Do not tie up to it, do not use my hose to wash the fish scales of your boat, and for the love of God do not disembark your vessel and knock on my back door seeking directions.

~Reident parking is just that . . . for residents.  If you have New Jersey plates, I'm guessing you don't live here.

~And lastly, quahogs and clams ARE NOT the same thing. 

On that note.  Welcome to summer.  Feel free to come play with me on Cape Cod.  I really am actually a nice person . . . just ask my critique partners :)